Ok this one goes out to all my fellow assholes.
This is a title I embrace with pride.
Like admitting you’re an alcoholic, and not giving a fuck… I guess…
I am an asshole, and the people who know me, have always known this about me. Its not like I snuck it out once on accident, its been there from day one.
Let me clarify by saying that I’m not like the Grouch, just sneering all the time unable to make pleasant conversation. I just see humor in otherwise inappropriate situations.
For instance, if I’m at the park with the girls, and I see a kid doing something stupid, and he ends up eating dirt, I fucking laugh. I laugh hard. That shits funny to me. Hell, I’ll even laugh at my own kids, if its something I told them not to do. ( I’ll make sure they’re okay of course, but then I laugh.)
When I hear someone say something stupid, I cant help but make a smartass comment. Overly religious people are the worst. And its usually something that has to do with my daughter`s Type-1 Diabetes.
Such as: “maybe if you pray hard to God, he`ll heal your disease.”
It’s like wow, your church must serve some really good kool-aid. So, he has the cure for diabetes, but he just can’t crack that whole stupid thing, huh?
I have nothing against religion itself, or the people who believe in it, just don’t come at me or my daughter with some batshit crazy nonsense about your magic man fixing something we have a hard enough time dealing with any way.
Some people will undoubtedly disagree with my style of parenting, but I could hardly care less. At least I’m not continuing the current trend of breeding a generation who doesnt understand consequences, or as Bill Burr once put it, “In the way people“.
My daughter’s are quick witted, and at times make even me feel stupid.
All I can say is that when those little ladies get older and someone thinks they’re gonna get one over on them. They better pack a lunch, because it’ll be a long day.
And for the record. It’s not that I think I’m better than anyone else, I make fun of myself too.
It’s just way more entertaining when it’s at someone else’s expense.